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Your gangsta name (first 3 letters of your first name plus 'izzle') :
Rebizzle (uh oh)

Your detective name (favourite colour & favourite animal)
Orange Bunny (terrible)

Your Star Wars name (First 3 letters of surname, first 2 letters of first name,
last 3 letters of mother's maiden name) :
Rosrerub (ack!)

Your Superhero name ( 2nd favourite colour, favourite drink)
Green Coke (!!)

Your Brazilian name (first 4 letters of first name plus 'inho') :

Your Goth name (black, and the name of one of your pets) :
Black Eleanor

9. Your pornstar name (name of your first pet and your mother's maiden name):
Mittens Rubin

Wow, every single one of those was terrible!!

Mid-year review

For those who have not, until now, been playing the home edition, a primer: every new year, I make resolutions. Then, around my birthday, which is near enough the middle of the year to be appropriate, I review those resolutions to see which ones are moving along ok, which I need to get to work on, and which turned out to be stupid ideas that need to be replaced. The idea is that this will up the odds of me actually completing these plans by year's end. Some years it works, and some... Well, you know.

So, below is what I resolved this past January 1, with a progress report in italics accompanying each:

Health vigilance -- This should be the last year I need to watch it so much. In the remaining 25 days until my surgery, I will be a model citizen of rest/nutrition/exercise/caffeine reduction/vitamin taking so as to minimize the impact of the procedure. And then I will continue those practices post-surgery so as to minimize recovery period, though taking all the time I need (I promise, Mom!) And then in May I will eat a freakin' apple.

Despite the fact that I spent the week before the surgery puking, the whole thing went swimmingly. Recovery fast and as close to painless as possible. As of last Thursday, I even had some tingles in the heretofore numb zone on the left side of my chin. Although apple eating has for mysterious reasons been postponed until July, I shall continue to be vigilant.

I will apply for grants. Just figure out the procedure and apply for everything I'm eligible for, longshot or not. All anyone can do is say yes or no, but they won't say yes if I don't apply, that's for sure.

Hey, success. I applied for two, and will soon apply for another. I even got one! I shall endeavour to recall this when I don't get others.

Devote an hour a week to current events. That's really not much to ask of myself, some people likely do an hour a day. Planet Me, while lovely, has limited vistas. CBC.ca, here I come.

Failure. Utter and complete failure. I may be a bad person.

Get a real job (haircut optional). This is not only a resolution but actually a necessity--I can maybe linger at the library until August, and maybe the school will throw me a few extra hours, but at some point in 2007 I'm going to need something more or less full-time, preferably with benefits, given my tendency to do expensive damage to myself (although...see above). Being interesting would be a bonus--starting to apply before I *need* to would up the odds on that.

I've dodged the bullet so far with this one, between both the library and the school coming through with extra hours, and #3's success. But come September, I'm still going to have to step freakin' up. Grr (sound of teeth gritting resolve).

Read lots and read joyfully. I feel a lot freer to do so since I stopped both freelance reading and course reading at the end of the summer. I started keeping a reading journal in April, so I know I've read 45 books since then, which is about a book a week, which is about right. I also resolve not to keep forcing myself to complete books I dislike/am bored by, even if they are Great Works of Literature.

Stellar. I've read lots and loved most. This was an easy one, though.

Make a blog. I aim for a semi-professional (wellllll, not really) home in May.

Hey, whadaya know!

Travel! My destinations for 2007 are New York and Ottawa, and if my brother moves there, Tokyo. This is, of course, very scary for a immobile type like myself, but when else am I going to have friends and family living in such diverse spots. To the roads I go!

Flight to NYC booked, and Ottawa trip planned. Financial constraints dictate Tokyo being a 2008 resolution, due to the marginal employment mentioned above.

Practice gratitude. I think that is a book title, but it's a good thing to do. I sure do complain about a lot of stuff, and I think with *some* validity, but others have much more (this point was driven home to me last week when I was complaining about upcoming surgery to kindly colleague, who sympathized utterly because she had had open heart surgery). I have had some really good luck and kindness extended to me this past year, and, gosh help me, expect more in 2007. I shouldn't forget how much I owe friends, mentors, family, school, employers and the universe.

Um, this one seems in retrospect a bit airy-fairy. Hard to tell how I'm really doing on it. I'll try to be more mindful.

Write a book. Oh, yeah.

Hey, I did that one too. Now I just have to rewrite it and get the thing published. No problem!

Sooo...I have a lot to do still in 2007, but for five months in I'm doing ok. Except for that whole current events thing, and the looming job problem in September. But I've got time.

I can flow with the traffic / I can drift with the drift


Ok, technically, I am very bored by these what-sort-of-bramble-bush quizzes, but this one is about roses, my favourite flower! So I took it, because I am already very bored at work, and it told me I am orange, which is my favourite colour, and enthusiasm, which is my favourite emotion. So, yeah, I'm a little less bored now.

You Are an Orange Rose

You represent desire and enthusiasm

Your vibe: Sexy yet familiar

Falling in love with you: happens instantly - it's a fast ride

Laundry Thursday

I wind up doing laundry every Thursday, and only just realized that this shouldn't be, because I have a huge wardrobe (this despite the shopping embargo over the past two years). What is the reason? Yep, you guessed it, I have only a *week's* worth of underwear!! How sad is that, especially since i hate doing laundry?? Today's to-do is buy underwear (after the laundry's finished, natch).

I could be dirty / I could be flirty

Slow fade

Ok, perhaps Bexy23 will eventually fall into disuse, but for the moment there are still a few things I can't tell anyone but the inner circle. For instance--

--cheap ultra-low-rise jeans are an ill-advised purchase, especially for the active/fidgety, because they have no where to go but embarrassing if they slip even a little. And belts only weigh them down.
--I was so excited that someone other than me had started organizing a ten-year high school reunion party for my class. But I don't remember said organizers, or most of the people on the invite list, either. And I am not on the invite list myself. What can this mean?
--I still have no feeling in the right half of my lower lip, something that shouldn't really be relevant to my day-to-day life, yet is somehow driving me insane.

Thanks for listening/reading--I feel better just for telling you.

And recreate a place in my own world

You know, it's funny...

Six years ago, less a month, I used the promise of getting myself a Livejournal to drag myself through the tail end of the honours thesis writing process. And now here we are, at the tail end of the masters thesis writing process, and I am rewarding myself with a blog. I went back (yet again, I do this every year) to that first post, and it is still totally relevant, although I don't use the term strange-ass anymore. To whit, one more time:

I'm going with the optimistic word here, "adventure" as opposed to "abyss" or something along those lines. And by "adventure", I mean this mad after-graduation, rest-of-our-lives thing that most of us are embarking upon. This is also, of course, the first entry in my livejournal, but I don't think by any stretch of the imagination I'm going to be able to make this thing fascinating enough to constitute an adventure. Maybe a promenade.

BUT, I'm gonna make a promise here, because I'm trying to prevent everyone (including myself) from losing interest in this little excercise in, like, week. The promise is that I'll try to at least funny or deep or interesting or weird or something in every entry. No descriptions of what I watched on TV, or recitations of arguments I had with the guy at the phone company or long pontifications on the nature of subjectivity. I promise. Well, I promise to try.

I kinda think this attempt at being interesting may eventually result in me just, well, making things up. Like, if I had a really boring day but a really exciting daydream on the bus, I think I'd rather post the exciting thing, even if its not real. I'm usually pretty convincing; people ask me if my strange-ass fiction is autobiographical all the time (it isn't, der). But, then, Lillian Hellman pretty much died bitter and penniless because she changed her autobiography to make it more interesting and Mary McCarthy made it her mission to destroy her. So maybe it's a bad idea. Well, you can *let me know*, cause you can comment on these entries. If you, you know, wanna.

You know, I'm gonna edit that slightly and go put it on the blog without annotation. It's really hard not to allude to Bexy23 over there, I think my hyper-privacy issues are making me mental. But other than that, I'm having a good time with the project, although I *still* have no friendish links. The question becomes, do I *really* need your permission to link to your blog? Ok, yes, probably.

The four-day writing vacation I took post thesis submission is now over, too--restarted the novel last night. Ahahaha. This will end in tears. In approximately 2017.

I just keep on waiting

Going pro!

Well, I'm finally making the promised semi-professional blog under my real name. Nothing much going on with it yet, but it will eventually furnish links to my publications, bits of process prose, occasional excerpts and some self-aggrandizement about my rare and strange public appearances. It will also furnish a link listing of cool people I know--if you don't mind being affiliated with the real me (ie. if this blog is under *my* real name, people could likely find out yours) you can let me know and I'll put you on the list. I'm not going to link back to this LJ in any way, in a probably futile effort to keep people from finding out about the last six years of shenanigans, so if you want the new URL, I'll have to email you. Despite me making things so very difficult, I do hope you'll read the new one--I'd hate to alienate what few loyal readers I have!

Everything about it is a love song


You know how sometimes your answering machine records a hangup so you are able to hit 5 and get the originating number. And then sometimes you will recognize it, or think you do, and be absolutely *kilt* with wondering what *that* individual could have wanted at this particular juncture, or if you even had it right at all.

And then they never ring back.

Yeah. Like that.

These small hours

Two month surgical annvisary

I am chewing up a storm these days and am, naturally, elated about that, but sometimes a tad too ambitious. Example occurred last night, when I decided since I have already eaten fish, rice and vegetables in their individual formats, I could manage a maki roll, and I did in fact it a few narrow ones before moving on to a California roll thicker than I can open my mouth. After conveying it via chopsticks an banging it off my teeth several times, I stared at the California roll and announced: "So we have reached detente, you and I: I can't eat you and you can't eat me." My brother chuckled and remarked, "Good to see you aren't slipping down the foodchain."

Less cheerful is being asked by my surgeon a WEEK ago, "So, have you gone back to work yet?" I said of course, and he said good for me. I said otherwise I'd starve and he was, "Oh, so you're one who *has* to work?" And where are the ones who *don't* have to work, pray?


But, in general, yay! Healing!

When I wake up / in my make up / it's too early for that dress

23rd Mar, 2007

Guess who put a bowl in the microwave with a *spoon* in it. For eleven seconds, until I wanted to stir my coffee and wondered where my spoon was. So now, in addition to all the other things I have to be grateful for, I must include the fact that I am not on fire. In fact, nothing bad at all happened, which we will attribute to the beneficience of the universe, and not any conspiracy theories about metal in the microwave.